A Life Worth Living

What are you living for? What makes you get up in the morning? What gets you the most excited? Of what do you love to converse? Where do you find your thoughts drifting during the day? Who/what holds your deepest affections? 

Be honest. 

Most of us, myself included, would come up with answers that were to the general eye moral and upright. We might even pride ourselves with the fact that some of the answers are high and lofty…ministry, family, service, etc. 

But as I have come to a deeper understanding of a Love that is unconditional and unfathomable, a Love that simply asks for everything I have and gives everything He has in return; my pride in my “great” answers has crumbled into a thousand pieces, and a deep seating longing has remained. A longing for my Savior to be the answer to every question.  

For if Christ and Him crucified isn’t the answer to every question…I have a problem. 

If I am living for anything but Him, life isn’t truly fulfilling. If I don’t wake up and long for His face, I’m missing the greatest gift. If I get the most excited about anything other than Him, I don’t truly know the depths to which joy can plunge. If He doesn’t hold my deepest affections, I don’t understand LOVE in it’s beauty and loveliness. 

But if CHRIST is the answer…then I have joy unspeakable, love unfathomable, and peace that passes understanding. 

This is what drives the deep seated longing in my heart that simply grows greater with each passing day. For the more I taste of His loveliness, the more glimpses I catch of His face, and the more I come to hear His beautiful voice, the more I want to know Him. He has become my overwhelming desire. He has ravished my heart and though I don’t understand why He would want a poor little wretch like me, I love Him that much more. 

I don’t want to leave the impression that I’m perfect and I always love Him more than others, or that honestly the answer to all questions would be CHRST. Sometimes I’m scared to talk of Him, and afraid of what might be if I follow Him all th e way. Sometimes I allow things or people to take the highest seat of my affections. But the more I taste of LOVE the fear and shame begin to melt away. And I can truly say that:

I would far rather die young and live for Christ than to die old and live without Him.

Why? 

Because simply...my heavenly Prince has captured my heart. He makes life worth living.

If LOVE hasn’t captured your heart, take away the distractions, lay your heart bare before your Maker and plead with Him to reveal Himself to you. 

He will make Himself known to you. 

For He cannot lie. 

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. John 14:21

I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. Proverbs 8:17

Daddy

I'll admit...I'm a Daddy's girl and being all the way across the continent has been hard. I miss our dates together...the hours spent building and remodeling. Fixing tractors and splitting wood. I miss our heart to heart talks and the times we would just spend snuggling. I miss his protective arm around me and sometimes I just crave for a big Daddy hug... 
Today, the separation ends...a least for a few days. I'm so excited! I'll get a real Daddy hug at last! All the months apart have only made reunion the more sweet. 

And then me thought...
I'm a privileged girl! I have not one, but two Daddys! Both have been here from before my birth...leading me, guiding me, directing me, loving me. Both have gently called to my heart asking for my trust and companionship. Both have been there whenever I needed them. Both have given me safety and security and allowed me to rest in their arms. If I am this excited to see my earthly Daddy from whom I've only been months apart...how excited should I be about the news that soon the separation from my Heavenly Father will be over! That soon after a lifetime of apartness I will be able to see him face to face...

And so once again, I've determined to be faithful to the end. That one day I may see his smile upon me, one day receive an embrace. And the years of separation will only make the joy of reunion all the sweeter! 

Summer Adventures

An update on my summer for those who were wondering. :) 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words... so here's a few thousand for you!

Back home from the farm and enjoying a Sabbath on the beach!

 

The expert Crinoid hunter

 Grand Haven with Cousins :)

MI Campmeeting was such a blessing...

We also ran the 5K :)

I have the best running companion! 

Then off to CO to celebrate the 4th with family

The old cousins...

 And the young ones :)

A very special weekend...

2 lives uniting...4 lives embarking on a journey with the Savior

My brother one of them...can there be greater joy?

A very long car ride up to Idaho with my crazy companion! :)

YD camp!

Then down to TN for a midwifery class

Interesting Florida was next... ASI Orlando!

I worked in the kindergarten...but just realized that I was too busy to take pictures! You'll just have to imagine :)

Back home again after 6 long weeks and enjoying blueberries and family!

Isn't he handsome?

He's really strong too! ;)

And crazy :) 

And I love him dearly :)

Family

Hurray!!!

Trust Me

The wind whispers gently through the treetops, the birds voices are lifted in songs of joy, the flowers around me speak of the glory and majesty of their creator, and the cows on the surrounding hills make me smile. This place has become a second home to me... my oklahome.  But even more than the beauty and tranquility surrounding me I am reminded of my Father’s love. He brought me to this place. He has given me more than I ever dreamed possible and has even given me the cherry on top.

It all started after a few days visit in April...

The moment I drove up the driveway I began to dread the thought of leaving this place. I’ve traveled a lot, said a lot of goodbyes, but never have I had such an overwhelming desire to stay at one place. I was able to mostly push the unwelcome thought aside until the last evening. Then a flood a emotions overcame me. I wanted with every fiber of my being to stay at this little earthly paradise, but I knew that there was absolutely no way. I had to go back to the routine of real life. When I awoke that dreaded day I didn’t want to get out of bed. I began to complain to the Lord about leaving. Softly He stopped my questioning. Gently He reminded me of the ways that He had lead in the past. As the scenes flooded my minds eye I once again was hit by the fact that He ALWAYS had my best interest in mind. No way He had lead was left to chance. But as I remembered, my little burning heart brought me back to the present. 

My questions returned... 

“Are you sure you know what you are doing this time Lord...This lifestyle is so good for me. I don’t want to go back to the busyness of life.”

Quietly He responded...

“Have I ever failed? Will you trust me again? Will you allow me to take you back home? Will you give this problem to me?” 

Finally my faltering lips replied...

“Yes. Yes...you are trustworthy.” 

But He wasn’t finished with me yet. The voice came again. 

“Will you choose to be content going home?” 

“What!” my little heart screamed. “Content?” 

“Yes, content. And not only content, but cheerful as well?” 

“Lord this is too much! How can I be cheerful when I feel as though my heart will fall out if I step foot from this place?” 

“Trust Me.”

I struggled long and hard, but ultimately I surrendered my desire and determined to be content and cheerful with what the Lord had set before my feet. It may seem a trifle to you, to long for a place so much, but I can assure you that it was real. I still cannot put my finger on the reason why I love this place so, but to me it is a piece of heaven. 

And so I returned home, to my work awaiting me there and I can honestly say that He gave me power to be content and cheerful with leaving. 

Five days passed...I was swamped with work and deadlines. Then one evening when I opened my email, my heart fairly flipped. There before my eyes was an email asking if there was anyway I could come back to the farm for a month. Immediately I tried to tell myself that there was no possible way, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. Nevertheless I began to pray that if this was the Lord that He would open the many shut doors that stood between me and Oklahoma. 

I won’t go into details, but fourteen hours after my eyes had first landed on the email I had bought my ticket to the farm. The Lord had thrown open every door before I had even prayed. And so exactly one week after surrendering my heart’s desires I was back in Oklahome.  

I am now nearing the end of my month here, and I am once again dreading the thought of leaving this place, but I know that my God knows what is best and He has already given me above and beyond what I ever deserved or ever dreamed. He even allowed some very dear friends to come and surprise us last week which I consider the cherry on top. 

My friends if you are struggling with giving Him the reigns of your life I urge you to trust Him... 

For He is trustworthy. 

P.S. ~ For Clarity... I do love my Michigan home very much. It's just that I've realized lately how much I love the simplicity of the farming lifestyle. This month was a wonderful break from the stressful, electronic life. :) I'm glad I'm coming home again though to my family!!! :) 

A few more pictures from the last month...sorry for the quality. They were taken on an ipod.

I've seen thousands of pounds of this stuff the last month...quite literally! :)

Sabbath Afternoon Creek Walk :)

CSA/Market Packing

Market Time

The Crazy Cooks!

Farm Life

The Machine you use to pick... 

These :)

Playing out in the rain :)

Excursion to see if Andrew's wheat had survived the storm.

Nothing like Oklahoma sunsets...

You learn all trades here :) Sheep shearing in progress. 

Surprise! :) 

Siblings :)

Matching! 

Love OK!