Trust Me

The wind whispers gently through the treetops, the birds voices are lifted in songs of joy, the flowers around me speak of the glory and majesty of their creator, and the cows on the surrounding hills make me smile. This place has become a second home to me... my oklahome.  But even more than the beauty and tranquility surrounding me I am reminded of my Father’s love. He brought me to this place. He has given me more than I ever dreamed possible and has even given me the cherry on top.

It all started after a few days visit in April...

The moment I drove up the driveway I began to dread the thought of leaving this place. I’ve traveled a lot, said a lot of goodbyes, but never have I had such an overwhelming desire to stay at one place. I was able to mostly push the unwelcome thought aside until the last evening. Then a flood a emotions overcame me. I wanted with every fiber of my being to stay at this little earthly paradise, but I knew that there was absolutely no way. I had to go back to the routine of real life. When I awoke that dreaded day I didn’t want to get out of bed. I began to complain to the Lord about leaving. Softly He stopped my questioning. Gently He reminded me of the ways that He had lead in the past. As the scenes flooded my minds eye I once again was hit by the fact that He ALWAYS had my best interest in mind. No way He had lead was left to chance. But as I remembered, my little burning heart brought me back to the present. 

My questions returned... 

“Are you sure you know what you are doing this time Lord...This lifestyle is so good for me. I don’t want to go back to the busyness of life.”

Quietly He responded...

“Have I ever failed? Will you trust me again? Will you allow me to take you back home? Will you give this problem to me?” 

Finally my faltering lips replied...

“Yes. Yes...you are trustworthy.” 

But He wasn’t finished with me yet. The voice came again. 

“Will you choose to be content going home?” 

“What!” my little heart screamed. “Content?” 

“Yes, content. And not only content, but cheerful as well?” 

“Lord this is too much! How can I be cheerful when I feel as though my heart will fall out if I step foot from this place?” 

“Trust Me.”

I struggled long and hard, but ultimately I surrendered my desire and determined to be content and cheerful with what the Lord had set before my feet. It may seem a trifle to you, to long for a place so much, but I can assure you that it was real. I still cannot put my finger on the reason why I love this place so, but to me it is a piece of heaven. 

And so I returned home, to my work awaiting me there and I can honestly say that He gave me power to be content and cheerful with leaving. 

Five days passed...I was swamped with work and deadlines. Then one evening when I opened my email, my heart fairly flipped. There before my eyes was an email asking if there was anyway I could come back to the farm for a month. Immediately I tried to tell myself that there was no possible way, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. Nevertheless I began to pray that if this was the Lord that He would open the many shut doors that stood between me and Oklahoma. 

I won’t go into details, but fourteen hours after my eyes had first landed on the email I had bought my ticket to the farm. The Lord had thrown open every door before I had even prayed. And so exactly one week after surrendering my heart’s desires I was back in Oklahome.  

I am now nearing the end of my month here, and I am once again dreading the thought of leaving this place, but I know that my God knows what is best and He has already given me above and beyond what I ever deserved or ever dreamed. He even allowed some very dear friends to come and surprise us last week which I consider the cherry on top. 

My friends if you are struggling with giving Him the reigns of your life I urge you to trust Him... 

For He is trustworthy. 

P.S. ~ For Clarity... I do love my Michigan home very much. It's just that I've realized lately how much I love the simplicity of the farming lifestyle. This month was a wonderful break from the stressful, electronic life. :) I'm glad I'm coming home again though to my family!!! :) 

A few more pictures from the last month...sorry for the quality. They were taken on an ipod.

I've seen thousands of pounds of this stuff the last month...quite literally! :)

Sabbath Afternoon Creek Walk :)

CSA/Market Packing

Market Time

The Crazy Cooks!

Farm Life

The Machine you use to pick... 

These :)

Playing out in the rain :)

Excursion to see if Andrew's wheat had survived the storm.

Nothing like Oklahoma sunsets...

You learn all trades here :) Sheep shearing in progress. 

Surprise! :) 

Siblings :)

Matching! 

Love OK! 

Gratitude

Fall leaves, 

Travel,

                                                                            Family,

 Good food,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pumpkin pie,

Ask most people what the word “Thanksgiving” means to them and you will get many of the above answers...and usually the word on which the celebration was founded is omitted...Gratitude. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cold, forlorn group of weary Puritans huddle silently upon the desolate beach as storm tossed waves break upon the rocky shoreline. Expectantly they gaze out upon the battered sea, straining to catch the faintest flapping of canvas amidst the gale. Finally they hear the sound they have waited for so long. Their tired faces turn to smiles as they envision themselves sailing away to freedom...

Hours later all hopes of freedom are trampled, for instead of setting sail to the promised land, they find themselves locked up in a damp, smelling, rotten prison...

But why are they here?

The answer is simple...

They are not willing to bend or compromise to the will of the King...

Because they cannot deny their God.
Even if it means suffering and even death.

Yet through it all they are not discouraged...their lives are in their Father's hand and with that knowledge they quietly rest, trust, pray, and wait for another opportunity.

-------------

Years slip away...the day arrives when the persecuted band of believers finally step aboard the Mayflower...the ship that will carry them away to freedom. But their trials are not over...the trip is long and the sea rough. When they eventually arrive at their promised land the winter is cold and the food supplies low. By spring many have sickened and died.

Yet again their hearts are filled with thanksgiving to their Savior for bringing them to a land of freedom...a land of peace. 

As the leaves turn crimson and the breeze once again whistles cool, the pilgrims announce a feast of gratitude to God for all the many blessings He had given them that year.

And thus the first Thanksgiving was born. But sadly we have well nigh forgotten the purpose of the feast...it has become only...a feast.

So this Thanksgiving may we remember our fathers who gave their lives for the freedom we now enjoy. And may we learn from them to have a spirit of gratitude. Not just today when all is fun and games, but also on those days when trials and sorrow draw near to discourage us.

For just maybe our trials are blessings in disguise.

So my friend...

What are you thankful for?

Prison Doors

It's not unusual:

Eyebrows raised, puzzled expressions...and inevitably the question comes...

"Why do you have an open prison door, and chains for your lock screen and background?"

I smile...

"Because my friend, they have become my all consuming passion of late..."

"Prison doors and chains, you've got to be kidding!!"

-------------------------------------------

It's true...

But the chains which consume my thoughts are not hard and metal as you may expect, but they are just as real...

The prisoners in the cell are not really behind iron bars, but they are as hopeless as if they were locked behind them...

So why have these become may passion? Because my prince...the one who alone can break chains and open doors has bidden me to help Him...

Though I'm completely and utterly unworthy of such a trust, I except the call because I once was one of the chained ones...I understand the misery and pain of chains...

I used to have gaping wounds where the chains had cut into my wrist...but now I only have scars...and they are my trophies...a reminder of how merciful my Prince is.

So my friends, you too may be free...if you know not how to begin or where to start, let me take your hand...I once was in your shoes...and I will take you to the chain smasher...the one who can make you free. And when He makes you free...you are free indeed!

To all who are tortured and ravaged by sin,

The frail and the wounded about to give in.

There's news of release and captivity's end.

We've been set free, come and see!

Oh sleeper awake, come out of the night,

Throw open the door and step into the light,

For sin is undone and the wrong is made light.

We've been set free, come and see!

Come and see, the power of sin has been broken!

The gates of your prisons stand open, come and see!

Arise, believe, for the power at work both to rescue and save,

Is the power that raised Jesus Christ from the grave.

We've been set free, come and see!

I, too, lived in slavery, unmercifully bound.

Battered and broken I finally knelt down,

And there in obedience freedom was found, I've been set free!

And now through the dungeons of darkness and night,

I run in the freedom of liberty's light

And shout to the captives, "Oh prisoner take flight!

We've been set free, come and see!"

If the enemy's holding a knife to your chest,

Demanding you give up or die.

In Christ crucified you've already died

And now you are free!

Come and see, the power of sin has been broken!

The gates of your prisons stand open, come and see!

Arise, believe, for the power at work both to rescue and save,

Is the power that raised Jesus Christ from the grave.

We've been set free, come and see!

Tears

Bright rays of sunlight fall gently upon me creating a cozy blanket of warmth and peacefulness. Quietly my eyes trace the golden path that stretches far out to the horizon while the waveletes playfully tug about me. A seagull stands by as a sentinel on duty, carefully watching my every move. 

But I don’t notice...my eyes are too filled with tears. Silently they spill out and trickle down my cheek adding a bit of salt to the vast expanse of blue. Someone is missing...one who has been here on almost every trip to this place. One who has spent countless miles with me treading these dunes...one who has spent numerous hours sharing heart to heart talks whiles leaving footprints in the sand. 

That someone? My best friend of 12 years. The one who knows me better than anyone else. The one who has been there...always. 

The one who has shared my joys and my sorrows. The one who has never ceased to encourage me to higher ground. The girl God placed in my life to draw me closer to Him. She’s missing from this place...now over 1000+ miles away. 

As the tears continue to stream down my face, a still small voice whispers in my ear. 

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends may part
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

The voice continues....

I understand your tears...and I cry with you. You were not meant for tears. I didn’t create them in the beginning and someday I will banish them forever. I will wipe them from your eyes with my own finger. But until then, I will bear your griefs and carry your sorrows. I understand the pain of separation...I went through it for you. I am here, even in your darkest hour and I will repay. I will turn your sorrow into joy. Someday, you will understand...someday you will see the end from the beginning and understand why. But until then trust me...I only take away what I can return with better. 

The voice fades and the lapping of the waves again fills my ears. My tears are dried and those that remain are joyful ones. I serve a living God who cares enough to see the tears of a little lonely child and speak a word of comfort. A God who has gone through everything and more than I ever will. And a God who never fails to keep His promises. 

My heart is singing and my face is wreathed in smiles. Though a tear still remains...I lift my voice in a joyous strain.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

We shall meet my dear Glesni...if not here, on the other shore. And we will be able to walk on the edge of the sea of glass, praising our Savior forever!...oh what a thought! 

I Love You!

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...blessed be the name of the Lord!

Become as a Child

5 weeks...the number stares me in the face. Can it really have been that long since the last post? Time has flown by the last month. “Mothering” seven young-ins for nine hours, five times a week, seems to leave me with little time for other pursuits. :) But don’t feel sorry for me! I’m loving every minute of it. Though there are times when I wonder why I ever got myself into this, I’m more than repaid by the grasp of a little hand in my own, a slobbery kiss on the cheek, or a sweet little voice whispering in my ear, “You are my best friend!” 

Through the hours and days spent with the kiddos I've begun to see my Heavenly Father in a new light, and also the reason behind the phrase, "You must become as a little child." 

Splash! As the rock sinks out of sight, ripples begin to form, spreading their influence in an ever widening circle. Delighted giggles echo off the glassy surface marred only by the wavelets. 

"Miss Abby!"

I turn my head toward the source of laughter.

"Watch!"

Splash! Another set of ripples begin to develop.

"Miss Abby!" A second voice pipes up...."Watch!" 

Again the scene is repeated and picked up by still others until there are 5 little voices making sure that I don't miss their splash. As the stone sends a spray of water into the air, 5 shiny pairs of eyes turn toward mine, eagerly waiting to see my smile and hear my encouragement. As I look into those expectant eyes I can't help but ponder...This is what it means to "become as a little child." I should be as eager as these little ones to have my Father's smile, His approval on everything that I do. 

Fingers black and sticky, mouths with a ring of purple making a circle around smiles. Laughter tumbling out from among the brambles and joy radiating from beaming eyes. Little tummies far more full than the pails. This is what it means to "become as a little child." Joy in the small things. Happiness amide the thorns.

A frightened hand grasping with all the strength in her little arm. Wide eyes staring into mine. Whimpering, yet not wanting to be left on the shore she bravely clings to me as we step deeper into the water. Calmly I try and explain that she is perfectly safe...I'm holding her and she has a life jacket on. There is no need to fear. Slowly I see the fear melt from her eyes...trusting. This is what it means to "become as a little child." Trusting our Father's hand and heart are enough. Even when we can't see beyond tomorrow.

Seven pairs of outstretched arms, and seven pairs of little feet winging their way over the grass towards me, all crying "Miss Abby, Miss Abby! We love you! We missed you!" That's what it means to "become as a little child." The love and affection a little child can bestow on others...even if they aren't as lovable. Oh, Father give me that love. 

Oh, Father make me as a little child...give me the joy, trust, and love they exhibit. 

Death

Death...It is an ugly word to many of us. Multitudes have felt its sting, its pain, its loss. It is a word that we tend to avoid like the plague. 

But Jesus didn’t avoid it. In the Gospel of John the word is repeated time and again. 

How could he be so comfortable and content with the word? Why does the it come up in the majority of His conversations? 

The answer: Because death is a prerequisite of life. One must die in order to live. 

The Christian’s life is a constant dying...death to self. In fact...Paul writes to “die daily.” 

In 2 Corinthians he further explains - “For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifest in our mortal flesh.”

So we die that Christ may life...”I have been crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live. Jesus Christ now lives in me!”

And when Christ is alive in the heart, He binds us tightly to the vine that His life giving sap may flow through our dead self, giving life and joy to the body. 

Not only life, but fruit...

“unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

Much fruit...

The Christian’s life is centered in death...a word we tend to avoid, but one which Christ embraces...For death brings...Life, and life more abundantly;

Friends...let us put off our fear of “death” and instead wholeheartedly embrace it. Knowing that “Thy Jesus can repay, from His Own fullness all He takes away...” 

We have nothing to lose and all to gain...Christ in you the hope of glory is worth dying for my friends...no matter what you have to lose. 

I promise.

Sorry

I have been running into some technical difficulties the last few days, so I'm sorry to all that have been experiencing problems...and thanks to all who let me know! Please bear with me as I sort the quirks out...for those who were wondering the comments are fixed, so yes, comment on. I would love to hear from you! Thanks!